Being a parent is the greatest gift on earth. You have the opportunity to shape another human being into a caring, confident and successful person. Research shows that confidence has a stronger link to success than competence. Thus, confidence is one of the most precious skills you can teach your child. Young children do not yet have the ability to form a self-concept and that is why they take on their whole believe of who they are by the way they are treated by their parents. You as the parent can empower your child with confidence.
Five important principles to empowering children with confidence:
- Mistakes are opportunities
You are the mirror of truth to your child; you can show them that they can be confident by guiding them to have positive self-talk and not seeing mistakes as a bad thing or a failure. Rather show them that mistakes are opportunities to learn something and grow. Help children to stop any negative talk, what they focus on becomes bigger. Turn mistakes into opportunities by helping children evaluate the situation and brainstorm ways of handling it differently next time.
2. Focus on the positive
No one believes in others unless they believe in themselves, you can help children to believe in themselves. Focus on when they did something correctly and make sure they know it is correct and good. Tell children they are who you want them to be. Focus on the good things they do, also tell them that you believe in them and that you know they will do the things expected from them at home and at school.
3. Provide structure and stability
Ensuring children have rules provides them with structure to understand what is expected of them. Care, nurture, and teachings provide guidelines for structure and stability. It is important for children to understand why rules are in place. Help them make the link between following the rules and creating a win-win situation where both of you can be happy. For older children, being part of the process of creating rules will make them feel empowered and create a sense of control. This can increase the probability of following the rules for older children.
4. Responsibility
Empowering children to make their own decisions gives them the ability to take responsibility for their actions. When you agree to give them the option to decide on a specific topic, make sure you will be comfortable with whatever they decide and the possible outcome of this. Choose age appropriate topics and try not to put too much responsibility on them before they are mature enough to handle the consequences of their choices. Once you have given them the freedom to make their own decisions on a specific topic, there is no turning back. Show them you have confidence in them, and they will have confidence in themselves to make the best decision and handle the consequences.
5. Respect and trust
Talk to children in the same manner you would like to be spoken to. The basis of self-esteem is about how much you like and respect yourself. Children can form a more positive self-esteem by feeling respected when speaking to their parents. Having a healthy relationship with children requires a strong base of trust. To create trust, children need to know you will always tell them the truth, even in difficult situations. Trust is built when both parties are truthful and honest with the intent to love and support each other. Children need to feel safe at home. You as the parent can offer them the security of always being truthful, to equip them with this tool of trust as they grow up in a world filled with lies and deceit. Children need a truthful and objective view as they grow into adults, make sure you are that person for them.
Children deserve the opportunity to develop confidence and to be happy. They deserve to be successful and achieve great things. By applying these principles, children can be equipped with confidence to dream big and make those dreams a reality. What can you do today to start this amazing journey of empowering your child with confidence?
Maria Lunt 